The comment from i_have_Bouncebackability to my first post (I can’t believe somebody’s already reading this!) reminded me of my favourite driver announcement on the tube.
I’d just got on a very crowded Central line train at Mile End and the driver announced: "I regret to inform you that we have a normal Central line service this morning". Caused much laughter.
I got a good laugh from my fellow passengers whilst waiting for the Central Line at Oxford Circus once. A voice came over the tannoy telling us that there was a good service running to all Central Line destinations that morning. My comment of "That’s a f***ing matter of opinion" went down rather well.
Another time was on the Northern Line when we were doing the stuck-in-the-tunnel-for-five-minutes-before-moving-ten-yards thing that it does so well. I started improvising a poem called "How I Love The Northern Line", with fellow passengers chipping in lines from time to time. The only verse I can remember now is:
Oh how I love the Northern Line,
Its trains so swift and sure.
It takes me out at 8 am
Then back at half-past four.
Of course, the best collection of tube stories is over at Going Underground.